I officially started miscarrying last night. How do you pick up and move on when the one true shot you ever thought you had at being a mother is literally going down the toilet?
How do I keep going through the motions this week knowing full well that if I peed on a pregnancy test, "Pregnant" would still pop up before my eyes in a matter of seconds?
How do you get on with the rest of your life?
How do you have hope for the future?
How can you go on believing that there really is a God and that your life has any significance to Him when life's events blatantly point out that He could care less?
How could a God who supposedly loves us so much sit by and watch our hearts being broken and simply call it part of "His plan"?
How will I ever believe again that there is power in prayer when we literally had hundreds of people praying for us each and every step of the way, and for what? Breathing the ceremonial sigh of relief only to have the rug swiftly pulled out from under us.
How can I have faith that our last chance at ever becoming biological parents (at least for one of us) will actually work?
How long will it take for me to get through a day without crying and thinking about what could have been, what should have been?
Why do I get no comfort in knowing that I now have TWO angel-babies in heaven instead of here with me?