Tuesday, August 18, 2009

so scared

Things aren't looking so good and I'm unbelievably scared and can't stop crying. I went for ultrasound & bloodwork today. The results of the ultrasound were inconclusive (which I later found out should have been expected due to being so early), as the RE basically saw nothing except something which "may or may not be a gestational sac." So now, we have to wait again until Friday to see what happens. As if I haven't already been tortured enough, my hcg levels still went up according to the bloodwork today, but they didn't double nearly as well as they should have based on last week's doubling rate. A week ago, my level was 241 (quadrupled from original beta) and now it has just barely doubled in an entire week (560). That's just.not.good.

Please pray...
Matthew 6:25-34

16 comments:

Ter said...

((hugs))

Erica @ on the move said...

I'm sorry to hear, Teri. Hang in there best you can til Friday.

Emily said...

Oh hon...what terrible limbo to be in. Hoping, praying and everything is crossed for you and your little one...

Amy said...

Oh, what a rough place to be right now. Praying!

Melissa Griffin said...

Im sorry to hear that. If you are really early that could be the reason? Im praying for you!

Candi said...

Teri, I am praying.

Mrs Emilee said...

Prayers are definitely with you! Hopefully everything turns out okay. Hang in there!

PS- Came across your blog, and it gives me a lot of hope. This is my infertility blog.

graspthelove said...

I'm so sorry you have to wait yet some more. We are praying like crazy.

embieadoptmom said...

Praying for you dear. May God's arms wrap around you, comfort and reassure you.

Nichole said...

Teri - I am praying for you and your little one. It is still very early so don't lose all hope yet.

Have faith my friend, just as you have through this entire process.

I am praying for you and your Father is with you!

BIG HUGS!

Megan said...

Praying praying. So hard to not know what's going on. I'm sure this next few days will drag by slowly, I'll pray that you can keep your spirits up as you wait for Friday.

Piccinigirl said...

parying and praying for you. I'm going to keep lots of positive energy coming to you.

Have Faith!!!! I do!!!

Tridentine Wife said...

I know it's scary, but as the RE said, you're really early to see much of anything right now. Also hCG isn't always indicative of an abnormal or normal pregnancy. Many women who have low hCG levels go on to deliver a healthy baby.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Mama Razzi said...

Hang on. Just hang on and ride this out. You can not change anything now and it is all out of your hands. The Lord's plan will prevail and HE IS MIGHTY. I am so sorry you are in this place of not knowing, of waiting and of being scared, but remember the HE is holding you in the palm of his hand.

Becks said...

I've been thinking about and praying for you and the baby(babies?) all day. When I first found out I was pregnant, I worried so much about whether the the pregnancy would last or not. I never thought I would be able to get pregnant, and who knew if I would every get pregnant again? I found a lot of peace in knowing that it was in God's hands. Whether the pregnancy lasted or not was just totally out of my control. It made me feel better, and it freed me from the self-blame game. Did I lift something too heavy? Did I bend over too much? Did I not eat enough? too much? That can drive you mad! I am praying for you and for God's mercy and grace, for you and your little one(s)!

Christina said...

All of my good thoughts and prayers are with you.